Hello Lovelies! I hope your having beautiful morning/afternoon/evening, wherever you are and whenever you’re reading this.
Have you ever wondered what the phrase “don’t give away your power” actually means?
Common uses of this phrase relate to knowing your worth, not putting validation of yourself in someone else’s hands. Basically, standing on your own two feet regardless of what anyone else says or thinks.
And while I back this message 1000%, there’s a meaning it holds in my life that hopefully you will be able to relate to as well. And that is, don’t make others responsible for our emotions.
Now I know you may be thinking, “I already know this”. But do you know how to apply the practice of this when push comes to shove? Or do you tend to A) React to others? or B) Experience inner turmoil and disappointment in others for how they’ve spoken to or treated you?
Neither answer is bad and these, of course, are not the only possibilities. These choices are purely meant to inspire some reflection. We move through life with patterns so ingrained in us and ways we’ve been operating for so long, that sometimes it can mean taking a deeper look at our current behaviors and habits in order to see how we could be giving our power away. And there’s ZERO shame in this, this is something to be celebrated! There’s a reason most people don’t enjoy self-reflection and growth. It isn’t comfortable nor for the faint of heart.
More specific questions you could ponder are, when someone upsets you in your family or close support system, how do you handle it? Are you deeply offended? Are you angered? Can you easily separate your own emotions from the events that are taking place? This is not to say that certain events don’t provoke associated emotional responses, but can you keep a hold on yourself whilst in the middle of this? What are your triggers? Are you unaware of them or do you know yourself pretty well? Do you make someone else responsible for your emotions?
As a parent, I could tell you I do- when my son is throwing a tantrum and I drop/break something in the chaos for example, who do you think takes responsibility for that? Me? NO. I obviously wouldn’t have dropped that something if someone wasn’t screaming in my ears. Right?
Orrr is it possible for us to keep our cool and wait out the storm by self-soothing in those moments? YES.
But HOW? Relationships are Hard. There’s no doubt about that. But imagine a world where everyone took responsibility for whatever came up for them…No matter what was going on around them, they were able to stay in their Power. No lashing out, no placing blame, no feeling small or doubting their worth. Fully in their Power, come what may.
It is so disempowering to say “I can’t feel better until so & so apologizes, makes amends, forgives/likes me, changes in some way, & so on.” You are essentially putting your power in the external, which is not within your control. This is what “Giving your Power Away” means.
How To Stay In Your Power
- Check in with yourself and see why this is creating pain or struggle within you
- Recall if there a time when someone else treated you this way or why this specific event may be a trigger for you
- Release your expectations for others. This is a BIG one, maybe the most important and can be the cause of tons of unnecessary pain. Expecting someone to be a certain way or playing out past relationships in current ones(This person in my past didn’t do xyz, so now I need You to do xyz) will only ever lead to more pain and suffering.
- Learn to Self Soothe
Then you can begin healing the birth place of this emotional trigger. And when/if it ever happens again, you won’t be phased by it. Or at the very least, you’ll know how to handle/release it with ease. Keeping calm & cool is a very desirable trait I think we’d all like to have, on some level. To be Fully In Your Power, no matter is going on around you.
I hope you found any of the information here valuable or applicable to your own life. I am super passionate about this type of information and believe it’s related to my Purpose. To help others understand themselves better in order to be Happy, Healthy and Empowered. It all starts within, my friend.
Please leave a comment below if there’s anything you’d like to add or any experiences you’ve had! I’d love to connect more.
Have a beautiful day & don’t forget to Stay In Your Power!